Dear Hal,

Thirteen Ways to Measure the Passage of Time: 

1) I'm hungry

2) my tires are flat

3) my pants are threadbare

4) I have dandruff

5) I'm aroused easily

6) my facial hair is itchy

7) my frame is flecked with rust

8) strangers ask me for directions in neighbourhoods where, ten years ago, I would have 

9) I identify with people who even three years ago I would have thought were really old

10) it's time to do my taxes again

11) my cup's almost empty

12) the house is quiet

13) patios, balconies, courtyards and backyards are opening for the season

Ever notice that Wallace Stevens' 'Thirteen Ways to Look at a Blackbird' is basically just a listicle?